If you’re unhappy at work, people can be remarkably quick to offer the obvious solution:
“Just leave.”
As though you hadn’t thought of that.
If leaving were simple, you wouldn’t still be wondering what to do.
For most people, especially in mid-career, deciding whether to leave a job is about much more than whether they enjoy the work.
There may be a mortgage. Children. A decent salary. A good pension. Flexible hours. Colleagues you care about. A competitive job market.
And the terrifying possibility that the next job might turn out to be worse.
So if you keep going backwards and forwards between “I need to get out of here” and “perhaps I should just stay”, it doesn’t mean you’re indecisive.
It means you’re making an important decision with several competing factors.
Here are four questions that can help you think it through.
1. What is pushing you away from your current job?
Start with what isn’t working.
Try to be specific.
“I hate my job” might be how you feel, but it doesn’t tell you what actually needs to change.
Perhaps:
- the culture has become difficult;
- your workload is unsustainable;
- you no longer agree with the organisation’s direction;
- you rarely get to use your strengths;
- you feel bored or underused;
- your role no longer fits your values;
- your manager is making life difficult;
- your confidence is gradually disappearing;
- or work is beginning to affect your life outside it.
One important question is:
Has something temporarily become difficult, or has the job fundamentally stopped working for you?
Every job has frustrating periods.
But if the same problems have been there for months or years, and realistic attempts to improve them haven’t worked, that tells you something different.
2. What is pulling you towards staying?
This is where career decisions often become messy.
You may have very good reasons to stay.
Perhaps you have:
- a good salary;
- financial security;
- a strong pension;
- flexible hours;
- excellent annual leave;
- supportive colleagues;
- a short commute;
- familiarity;
- status;
- or years of experience and credibility within the organisation.
None of those things should be dismissed.
But there’s an important distinction between something being valuable and something being enough to make you stay.
3. What is pulling you towards something new?
Sometimes we spend so much time thinking about what we’re escaping that we forget to think about what we’re moving towards.
What interests you about leaving?
Perhaps you want:
- more autonomy;
- a new challenge;
- better work-life balance;
- more meaningful work;
- more creativity;
- better progression;
- a different environment;
- greater flexibility;
- or simply the chance to discover what else you could do.
This is an important part of Career ARCH.
People often come to Careerology because of Alignment. They know their current work no longer fits who they are, what they value or what they need.
But what gets in the way is often Reality.
Or more accurately, perceived reality.
We tell ourselves:
I’d never earn enough doing something else.
I’ve been here too long.
Nobody would employ me.
I’m too old to change.
The job market is terrible.
Leaving would be irresponsible.
Some of those concerns may be legitimate. Some may be assumptions.
The only way to know which is which is to investigate them.
4. What is pushing you away from change?
Now look at the other side.
What frightens you about leaving?
Money? Uncertainty? Losing status? Regretting your decision? Disappointing people? Starting again? Discovering that you’re not as employable as you hoped?
Fear doesn’t automatically mean you shouldn’t do something.
Sometimes fear is giving you useful information.
If leaving tomorrow would leave you unable to pay your mortgage, that needs a plan.
But sometimes fear simply means:
This matters, and I don’t know what will happen.
Those are two very different things.
Try the push-and-pull career exercise
Take a blank piece of paper and divide it into four sections.
Write down:
What’s PUSHING me away from my current job?
What is making you want to leave?
What’s PULLING me towards staying?
What would be difficult to give up?
What’s PULLING me towards something new?
What excites or interests you about changing direction?
What’s PUSHING me away from change?
What worries or frightens you?
Then look at what you’ve written.
Don’t immediately count which column has the most points.
Instead, look at the weight of each factor.
One major issue affecting your health or wellbeing may matter far more than five minor benefits.
Similarly, one significant financial risk may require more planning than several exciting reasons to leave.
Are you comfortable – or is it just familiar?
This is another question worth asking.
We often talk about staying in our “comfort zone”.
But familiarity and comfort aren’t the same thing.
You can stay in a job for years because you know it. You know the systems, the people, and you know what’s expected of you.
Leaving would mean entering unfamiliar territory.
That can feel risky.
But if you spend Sunday evening dreading Monday, complain about work every night and feel your confidence gradually shrinking, you may not actually be comfortable.
You may simply be familiar with being uncomfortable.
You don’t have to decide today
There’s a big gap between:
“I think I might need to leave”
and:
“I am handing in my notice tomorrow.”
You can explore without committing.
Research jobs. Speak to people. Update your CV. Look at salaries. Investigate other sectors. Take a short course. Test an idea. Talk to someone you trust.
The purpose isn’t to force yourself to leave. It’s to gather enough information to make a better decision.
And sometimes the answer will be to stay.
Sometimes it will be to change something within your current role.
Sometimes you’ll realise that it really is time to go.
But whichever answer you reach, it’s much easier to make a decision when the fears, benefits and possibilities are no longer swirling around inside your head.
Thinking about changing career?
If your current job no longer feels right but you’re not sure what to do next, download the free Career Change Toolkit.
It contains practical tools and guides to help you explore your options, plan your next move and start approaching career change one step at a time.